im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
