His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
