Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
