Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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