just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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