How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
