So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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