They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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