She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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