you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
