I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
