Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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