I think I am morally bankrupt
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
