he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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