I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
where am i from again
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
