I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You don't make any sense
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