Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
