Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
