they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
