I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
