12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
