Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
