I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
