R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
