obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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