The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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