Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
