She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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