why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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