Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
