i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
