i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
