giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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