please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
