can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
