I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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