dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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