Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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