My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
