She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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