dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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