Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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