I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
