u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
