I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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