We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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