So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
