I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
