i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
