So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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